that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
