Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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