you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize