you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
