I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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