do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize