Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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