we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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