I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
