i barfeds in our rink
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
