Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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