Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
