I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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