Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
what day is it and did you see me today?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
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