Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize