she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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