If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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