i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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