I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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