Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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