Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
