I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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