I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
