this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
