Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
