I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
