didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
