i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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