Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
