Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
