new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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