he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
