Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
