she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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