They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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