I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
