Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't think brook has ever known best
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
