I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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