It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
These tits shall not be calmed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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