I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
