A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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