I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
