I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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