last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
