He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I had to cum in my sink.
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