if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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