I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
