Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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