I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do vagina's smell?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
