I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I've blown a few things in my day
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
