thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
