hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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