I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize