I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
