dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
