If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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