billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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