her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
