Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hello my rib-scented angel!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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