she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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