If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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