it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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