Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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