my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
