Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
